I need ideas!

D and I have Chera pics coming up in November. I have a dilemma. In our first session from a year ago, there is ONLY one pic of me, and its my face only. In our pics this last April, there are a few of me with him, but mainly my face and maybe 2 of my upper body only.

This time, I will be just about to hit 6 months of weight loss, and I'm hoping to be around 250 lbs (that will be 80 lbs DOWN!). I'd like more of me in the pics, but I need some ideas for coordinating outfits for D and I!!!! Help!! Please leave comments if you have some thoughts on this!

I would prefer to be in jeans. I can put D in jeans...but tops? Maybe Converse shoes for both of us? Bare feet? Urggghhh...what to do...

90 Day Challenge and update

Today I'm starting the 90 day challenge that Beth posted on DAM yesterday. Well, she actually posted it yesterday, but I took yesterday off everything so mine begins today and I'll go a day longer.

Its already something I've tried to do from day one, but when AF is wrecking havoc, its hard to stay motivated every single day. I'm hoping this will do the trick. What a great idea!

I'm really hoping that the weather stays nice, it means we can continue to get out and walking every day. I'm definitely taking D out this evening! And now that I've done a 5K, I have NO excuse. lol

To post a progress update...I weighed in at 267.8 this morning, which means...I have 12.8 lbs til I hit the halfway mark (255 lbs)!!! And 17.8 lbs til I hit 250 and get a big night out! WOOHOO!

My first 5K!

So today, I accomplished something I've wanted to for a long time! I walked in a 5K!!! I was so proud of myself for getting out there and DOIN it. In hindsight, I should have prepared a bit more for it. I only got 3.5 hours of sleep the night before, AND I was pushing a 43 lb kid in a stroller. I was draggin a bit...lol but it wasn't TOO bad.

Thanks to Helen who set up the team! You ladies are awesome, and I couldn't have walked with better people! BTW, all but two of these pics were jacked from Helen's pics...lol :) I had to share anyway! But check out HER blog, her little boy is way too stinkin adorable...

NOCC 5K - Break the Silence on Ovarian Cancer - our team was to honor Helen's sister, a 1 year survivor!

D and I, ready to go. (Psst...thats a 2X shirt, and it fits!!)

And we're off...

An hour and 15 minutes later...we're almost to the finish line, D says "come on GUYS!!" right before he did a face plant...no, he didn't walk most of it, only at the end...he was strollered...

YAY we did it!!!

DAM momma's rock!

Yay bloodwork

Went back today to get that bloodwork done to see if my bilirubin is still elevated. The lady at the Quest lab did a great job, got the needle in, and then when my vein tried to roll, she talked sternly to it and whipped it into shape, got the blood needed, and I was done. WHEW!! Now I just wait on the results. And we'll go from there.

And another update

Egads, I'm tired. You can see from our Adventures blog whats up with D, so needless to say, it was a long night and then a long day today.

I went to the doctor to get that bloodwork done today. 4 pricks on 3 veins later, and the nurse gave up. My veins were ROLLIN, apparently. So I have to go back tomorrow to a Quest lab and have a re-try. Wooooo fun. I'll post an update on that later.

An update

I had my sonogram yesterday for a liver screening. They did my liver, pancreas, and gallbladder. It showed that my liver is enlarged. Since my bloodwork showed elevated bilirubin (which was having fasted that day) when I went almost two weeks ago, I go back in on Thursday to get more bloodwork done without being on a fast. My doc wants to see if my bilirubin is still elevated and I guess we'll go from there?

Just wanted to share this little speedbump in my journey. I highly doubt its anything completely serious, but I'm glad its getting checked out. I'd hate to be blindsided down the road later on.

Lots of walking lately!

I am SOOOO loving this weather change. Its been in the mid-upper 80s all week and just gorgeous so we have been walking lots! I'm so excited and hope it stays this way for awhile. I hate summer temps, and have been patiently biding my time til now, but this past monday, my legs were literally itching to get moving and we've been going ever since!

A sad remembrance day

This morning I was thinking a lot about my grandad and losing weight. This post is a lot of rambling because I'm just kind of typing out my thoughts and we all know how random I can be.

For those of you who don't know, he passed away in Feb 2007 from Alzheimers. I miss him every single day.

I need to give a bit of background, for those who don't know. I moved in with my grandparents when I was 16. My home life with my mom was intolerable, and it was the only thing I could do to stay sane (not that I was that sane anyway...lol). So I went from a home where I had no parent around most of the time and basically raised myself, to a home where my grandparents were there ALL.THE.TIME. It was a crazy hard adjustment, so we fought a lot. He was also the most stubborn man in the world, and didn't exactly want to let me be as independent as I was used to being. So I remember that my grandma went to bat for me a lot as far as going places, etc. But I loved him dearly despite that. I wasn't raised around my dad, and so he was the male figure in my life.

Before he got really bad off, he would often make comments about my weight, on how I could stand to miss a meal, etc. It was a lot of stuff that I had to learn to shake off, we didn't know then just how bad he was getting. When he did get bad off, there were a LOT more comments about my weight, to the point where I almost didn't want to go over there. My grandma intervened in a lot of them. This all sounds really bad about my grandad, but he was sick, and we didn't know it quite back then. I've come to accept that a lot of it was the illness talking.

This morning I was thinking about my weight loss, and it came to mind that I really hope he can see me from up in Heaven. I wonder all the time if he can see the good I'm doing, and see that I AM losing this weight, even if it wasn't in his timing. It also saddens me that D never really got to know him. By the time I got D, my grandad was pretty far gone. They shared a sweet moment once when D went over to him in his chair, but for the most part, I don't think either of them realized who the other was. And I can still tell in D's behavior at my grandma's house that he recognizes that something was wrong in some of the rooms, like he will NOT go in my grandma's bedroom (where my grandad was), and he usually wants someone to go with him into the back bedroom to get his hot wheels cars, but I know he doesn't know why he does that.

I think today is just a "I miss my grandad" sad day today. I pray he can see how my grandma is handling things with him gone, and that he's proud of her. She devoted her life to him in his illness, and refused to let him go into a facility, when it would have been the easy way out. I'm so proud of her for standing strong through the abuse she took. HE was not an abusive person by any means, but I know there were moments in his illness where he would say things that were mean or he would lash out at her. And she stuck by his side til the very end. THATS a marriage and a commitment.

I need to stop this post, I'm getting weepy at work, and I have all male coworkers...they wouldn't understand...lol I just want to say, I love you, Grandad...I'll miss you for the rest of my life, and I pray that I can show D how to be a man like you were.

Need a happy post?

I just noticed...that according to Fitday.com I'm no longer extremely obese!!! I'm on their scale now!!! I'm "just" obese! ok that sounds silly to be excited about...but thats WAY COOL to me!

For my height, 184.9 will be considered not obese anymore. Wow, at 271.4, I gotta long way to go...but when I hit my big goal of 180, I'll just be "overweight"! lol On a good note, I now have LESS than 100 lbs to go!

*happy dance*

Some health updates

So I saw a doctor a week and a half ago to get a full check up done plus bloodwork. And I'm happy to say, I'm healthy! Well, healthier...lol

My blood pressure used to be 140/90 I think. Yeah, it was bad. But at my doc appt it was 118/78!!! MUCH better.

My cholesterol 3 years ago was 205. I don't know what it was right before the diet. Now...its 166!!! The recommendation is below 180.

My good cholesterol is still a bit low, but she said more exercise will help that, but my bad cholesterol is just fine. WHEW!

SO...all is well, I'd consider those awesome updates!

I didn't post all weekend...

But not for any really good reason, I've just been really depressed lately. If you check out our Losin blog, you'll see that I AM trying valiantly to keep my diet changes going and not spiraling out of control. It really helps that I'm in the habit now of a lot of this, so a lot of my eating is things I already know are ok. I have no plans to go back to the way I was, so I'm just slugging through this one day at a time.

Thankfully, AF is about over, which will solve part of my depression, so tonite I should be able to be pretty active. Thats one thing that has been very frustrating, and my body knows it. I've noticed that during AF, my legs start to cramp up some due to inactivity, they are getting very used to it, and want to be active. And I'm really liking that. Plus, the weather has cooled way down, so I think tonite, D and I (and his trusty stroller) are going to hit the road and take a good long WALK. I can't wait!! Oh yeah, and I'm up to 175 crunches at a time (with a few 5 second breaks of course). I can do about 75 straight through now before I have to stop a second.

Check this out and an anniversary!

http://www.jacquelinereitzphotography.com/blog/

Check out this site...she's a fellow DAM mom and even though I've never taken the opportunity to have her do pics of D and I, I LOVE her work! (Oh, and there's a giveaway on there right now, so go check it out and comment!)

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Also, today is our 4 month anniversary. Its hard for me sometimes to think about it. In a way, its ONLY been 4 months, but in a way, its been 4 monthsss. And we've made so much progress in just that amount of time. But then there are days where I feel like we've been doing this forever, as I get used to the new habits and ways. But either way, I don't see us slowing down. I have no plans to whatsoever, and I hope that I'm building the right habits so that even if I do, those will sustain me through the tough parts of this lifestyle change. On we march to our 6 month anniversary and...professional pictures!!! lol

9/11 What a day it was

I just wanted to take a timeout from diet/weight loss talk, and remember the significance of today. 7 years ago today, 9-11-2001, is a date that very few of us will ever forget. Its a horrific day that we'll always carry with us. Some people will carry physical reminders of it, and others, will look fine, but the emotional/mental side of it will never leave them.

I remember that morning vividly. I was on my way to work when the first plane hit. I had been listening to Kidd Kraddick in the morning and I recall there was speculation that some idiot had tried to fly between the buildings of the World Trade Center and ended up crashing. No one knew what else was to come. I get to work and head to our Leasing Dept where they had a small tv turned on watching news coverage. As we were watching, the second plane hit. We all stood there horrified as it slowly dawned on us what was happening. As other reports came in of more planes, it was difficult to concentrate at all. I did not have a radio or tv in my office, so kept trying to get online to stay up to date. Unfortunately, all the news sites were overloaded. I couldn't bear to not know what was going on, so I ended up back in our leasing dept in time to see the first tower fall, and then went back and forth the rest of the day. I remember being worried when reports came in about the Pentagon as a 2nd cousin of mine works there. She was fine but it took a day or two to get information about that. I'm sure her parents were worried sick.

I can not imagine what the people who were actually involved in it really went through. And I can not imagine the trauma that caused. I can't bear to think of the passion behind those attacks, and how there are so many people out there who would do it all over again to us. It hurts me to think that there are people out there right now who are plotting something just as big. And I worry about my son, what kind of world he's growing up in, where there is that kind of hate.

I'd like to take a moment...and if you are reading this, please join me in this. Just take a moment, a quiet moment of prayer, of thought, of solemnity, and simply say a prayer for those who have hurtful intentions that God will touch their hearts and turn them away from it. Our God is a big God, and He can do anything. Anyone who could hurt people like that, is not a follower of the God I know, and needs to feel His love in their hearts.

I know this post got a bit lengthy but I felt led to just write, so there you have it. I hope that all of you have a great day today. For those who are missing someone today and mourning, I pray all of God's peace on your life. *hug*

Our September Splurge...

Tonite was our Monthly Splurge. And MAN, was it DA BOMB! We hit up Olive Garden...I very happily splurged on manicotti, salad, breadsticks, and some homemade Strawberry Daiquiri cake that Beth so lovingly made! Check out her recipe: http://couchconfessional.blogspot.com

And after that, check out pics!

Yummy cake!

Look how awesome Beth looks!

Always smiling...

Such a sleepy boy...I'm surprised he made it as long as he did...lol

The birthday girl, Casey, and her little man, Michael

"Hey, can I see that?" - sweet boys Micah and Jacob

Silly boy...

LOTS of silly boys...

Me and my baby

The lone little girl...all those boys, where's a girl to start...lol

Apparently, it was hide and go sit...lol

How many moms does it take to light a candle...

Like that cake, D???

New measurements!

Beth and I measured last night. We've both lost over 47inches EACH! Here're mine and you can see Beth's on her blog (http://couchconfessional.blogspot.com/ ). I cannot believe we are really DOIN this!!! Its so hard to look at the old pictures and see where we came from, but I'm ecstatic that we've been able to keep this up for so long and I'm praying that this is truly a lifestyle change that will keep us going for the rest of our lives!

Just wanted to share new pics!

Food addictions

Ya know...I give props to anyone who can beat a drug or alcohol addiction. Both of those have chemicals in them that can cause a serious addiction and withdrawal from them can be extremely painful and awful. But I have to say, and I'm sure anyone else with a food addiction will agree, that its a BIOTCH. The problem with a food addiction (and I said the above to not minimize the seriousness of drug/alcohol addictions) is that you can not cut it completely out of your life. You HAVE to eat. With drugs and/or alcohol, you can completely separate yourself from them. I'm not saying its easier, trust me, I'm not. But dang, dealing with a food addiction really can be a cross to bear because you have to be around it, you have to put food in your mouth, and you have to learn how to conquer that addiction while still intaking it. Its a daily struggle and might always be. But I guess like anything else, you take it one day at a time.

Big news!!!

Ok its not that big to some people, but to me, its HUGE!!! I discovered today...that I can now...

SHOP AT MACYS!!!! Their sizes go to 24. And I can fit into some 24s! So that was exciting, but I also found a pair of nice brown dress slacks for work in a size 22W. They don't fit YET, but will soon and I so badly need fall/winter clothes for work. And even BETTER, they were originally $75, but on sale for $18. WOOHOO!!! I am FINALLY able to shop places other than Avenue or Lane Bryant.

ETA: I tried on the pants...and OMG they fit!!! They are tight, so I can't wear them just yet, but they button AND zip!! I'm FREAKING OUT! I can't believe it, I never would have thought I could wear 22s...I'm in tears...this ROCKS!

*dancing banana*

The monkeys on my back

I had a funny/scary thought the other day. Beth had made a comment about pushing her two boys in the stroller and how together they are about 70 lbs. Well, I realized...that basically, I am Beth CARRYING her two boys all day every day, since I weigh a little over 70 lbs more than her. How bout that, Beth? Wanna carry the two of them around all day? lol I certainly don't. And thats just extra motivation for me. Gotta get rid of these boys hanging on me, sorry, but they gots to go!

A yummy morning

I have a doc appt at 2:30pm today, so they said I can not eat after 7am this morning. So...I got up early and cooked me some BREAKFAST. Usually I have a Fiber One bar and some fruit or something, and that's it.

But this morning, I cooked some breakfast burritos...food of the gods! For my 2 burritos, I used 2 whole wheat tortillas, with 3 eggs total (1.5 eggs on each), a slice of 2% milk cheese on each one, a total of 3 strips of bacon (one eaten while cooking, and one slice on each), and a tbsp of salsa on each. And OMG I am CRAZY full. But all that protein should last me all day now. lol

And I'm proud of myself. D just had eggs, bacon and apples. He did not want his bacon, but...instead of eating it myself, which I SO would have done in the past, I tossed it with his plate. Go me!!! Exerting a LITTLE bit of willpower at least...lol

OH and today is Casual Friday at work if you donate $5 to United Way, so I'm in my comfy clothes. Wish me luck at the doc today!

My willpower

is not near as strong as I thought! I grabbed chickfila on the way in to work after D's psych appt this morning. I asked for a grilled chicken sandwich and side salad combo. They gave me those...but put fries in there too!! :( I ate half on the way to work...LOL fortunately my calorie/fat counts are still ok...but yeeshh...I couldn't stop myself!!! So yeah, for now...I still need to steer clear of this stuff completely.

Happy Labor Day...

Whew, what a weekend. It was a lot of fun, but for me, it was marred with a dark side. I wrote a whole post about it, but I'm deleting it, its really whiny. The basics of it, are that I'm getting quite depressed over my bowel issue and the weight associated with it. I'm getting awful tired of this crap, literally. Pun fully intended on that, can you sense the frustration? I'm so glad I'm going to the doc on Friday to get a full checkup, I really hope she takes this issue seriously, noone else seems to, but to me, its a big deal! Four days of no poo is NOT RIGHT. Thats all I have to say tonite. I'm ready for this to be over. *sigh* I know people get tired of hearing TMI stuff, so I apologize if it seems like thats all I talk about. Its kind of consuming my life right now, I'll get over it.