Monday, November 10, 2008
Half of me...is gone...
And I'm not talkin about weight loss. I've felt for years like I'm not whole. I have God in my life, and I know I wouldn't be truly alive without Him, and I have this crazy funny kid whom I adore, I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and my kid's tummy, and a steady job, but I don't feel complete. Truth be told, I've been depressed over this for a long time now...I don't understand why it seems like God is holding out on me. I know its not my realm of understanding. Maybe I'M not ready, maybe the man God has for me, isn't ready. I just wonder WHEN, God, WHEN? Nights are so lonely I can barely stand it somedays, and I don't want to turn to someone for comfort, when its not in Your plan, God. I got hit really hard with it on Saturday evening, and its been a struggle ever since. I don't want to go my own way outside of Your Will. I want to stay fully in the will of God, but, urgh its tough. I could use some prayer. I pray that if God does want me to remain single, that He'll give me peace about it. But I'm NOT at peace about it. I just wish I could see ahead of the present, to see what is instore for me, maybe then I could understand the wait.
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brandie i think it's great to talk out loud to God which is to me what that post implied. waiting is the toughest thing to do especially if God has a bigger plan in store that you can't even imagine! you'll be in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteI think you are so strong for having waited so long without giving in, Brandie. You are a very honorable woman of God. I had wondered why the last couple days were pretty quiet. Now I know, and I will definitely be praying for you. I'm here if you do want to talk. ((((hugs))))
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