God chooses...

the strangest ways to talk to you sometimes...

I gotta share this, but I want to add a disclaimer first, that I need to give some backstory on it to show how meaningful it is. I don't want anyone thinking I'm asking for sympathy or whining about it, I really have tried lately to not bog everyone I know down with my own crap. But I can't share this without sharing WHY it meant so much to me today, so read at your own risk.

Today started out as a decent day. I was still stressing over D's leg but it didn't look worse this morning so that was good. He's still complaining some about it, and limping every now and then though. But no fever, nothing else, so I'm just praying the antibiotics kick in quick.

We went to a house party at my friend's house for lunch, and had a great time. It was just us 4 so the two boys played while the two momma's chatted. I took D home for a nap after making plans for a later movie. I guess I woke up cranky from my nap, plus my allergies were going insane, but shortly after, I just started feeling this weight on my shoulders. It was the usual "D and I are alone in this world" feeling. It happens a lot so I should be used to it, but it hits me hard every time.

This continued through the afternoon/early evening, and when my friend had to cancel movie plans on us, it just kind of spiraled. I was still determined to go to the movie though, couldn't bear to spend the evening alone, even if it was just D and I in a theater of other families. I fought crying several times just out of frustration, but had it under control for the most part. The movie we went to, Disney's Earth, was pretty good. D had a tough time with it as there were lots of scenery shots, so he got a bit bored at times. There were also real-life events (like a cheetah chasing down an antelope to eat it, lions attacking an elephant, a polar bear attacking walruses) that he kind of squirmed through (it was rated G though, not a lot of gore, just the build up to it), but otherwise he did fine.

By the time, we left the theater though, I was almost in full depression mode, and ready to hit up the nearest Taco Bell for some cheese rollups. I had already decided I was going, I didn't care, it was the ultimate in comfort food, and I would just deal with the consequences later. Thoughts were crossing my mind that noone cared where we were, that D and I could just drive away and noone would know, and I just was getting bogged down and didn't have the strength to fight it.

But God had other plans. As we were pulling out of the parking lot of the movie theater, right after I'd made my decision, I pulled up at a red light, and the license plate caught my eye. It was my initials followed by three numbers, which I don't remember...lol. BDV. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't switching letters around. And as if God was in the car with me, I heard "I know where you are at all times and thats what matters." I can't say that it was one of those profound lightning bolt moments where all my troubles are completely cast away and I was forever changed, but hearing that just kinda set with me in a quiet way. And it was enough for right then, to get me home without killin what I've worked so hard for these last few weeks. I want to ruminate on it some more, and turn it around and around in my mind til it settles in for good. And I just had to share that with my few readers. Its so amazing to me what God can use to get through to you. A license plate...who'da thunk it???

On to food...I think I did ok today. I did allow for somethings that I like, controlled junk basically...lol Before we went to the house party, I had a Kudos Granola bar to help. I had already planned out what I would have there. The first time I filled a plate, I got part of my CFA chicken nuggets, 4 meatballs (I skipped the rice though to help with cals), carrot sticks, lowfat dip (thanks for that, Casey!), 2 cheese slices, and apple slices. I ate that, and knew I was allowed to get up to get the other few chicken nuggets I had allotted for, and veggies. I will say it was hard to not get more cheese and meatballs! They were so good! But I got my nuggets, and more carrot sticks with dip. So I did decent there. After the naps for D and I, I had a whole wheat tortilla and yogurt. Dinner was baked chicken, mashed tatoes, and a romaine/tomato/cheese salad with Zesty italian light dressing. Tonite at the movies, I had some popcorn and a pickle to end my day at 1718 calories.

Output: this one was hard today. I didn't want to get up early and do it, so I ended up doing my 30 minutes on the bike (5 miles even) after our naps and snack. After we got home from the movie I had to do 30 minutes of wii tennis to make up the rest. Ughh it was close to not happening. I'm SO NOT missing a day though! Since the rest of our day was pretty passive without a lot of extra walking, I doubt I'll hit 2900 cals like I usually do with a good evening walk. Oh well. Tomorrow there will be plenty of walking as my family and I are meeting out at Firewheel for a late lunch and then some shopping.