I've been watching the tv show Ruby, about a 500 lb woman trying to lose weight, and I love how aptly she describes a food addiction. Its a "beast". It really and truly is. I know its something I will probably always fight. I can fight on a temporary basis, but I have to reconquer it every single day. Some days, its exhausting, and I give up and have something little. I've learned that in the worst of my cheese/carb cravings, that pickles are an adequate substitute. And they are low-cal, though high in sodium. However, my blood pressure is good right now...lol so I let them help calm the beast. Thats why you see a lot of pickles on my blog posts on our Losin blog. It works when its at its worst.
I still don't ever really feel "full". I don't know that I even really know what that means. I was concerned even at our last splurge, because all that fast food, and I still could have eaten more. And its been 6 months! I wonder if its all a mental thing or what. But it just means I have to work extra hard to let my calorie counts and percentages tell me when I've had too much. :( It sucks but thats how it is I guess.
I went and got a sonogram today for my GI issues, so we'll see how the results come back on that. I'll be starting Miralax here soon and then go from there I guess.
I feel ya... I've been fascinated by her too (even though I don't have Style network... DRATS!), and I identify some.
ReplyDeleteAt first I looked and said, "I could never get that big!" Then again, I told myself I'd never be over 200 pounds again, yet here I've been... A good bit over 200 for over 3 years. (More than that, but I'm not counting the pregnancies.)
It is a beast. If it were easy, we'd all be thin. You are fighting the good fight every day, Brandie, and I'm inexplicably proud of you. And inspired by you.