I wanted to make this a separate post so it doesn't get lost in everything else. It truly is amazing to me how God works things out. Things you didn't know you needed in order to do some healing.
We went to Walmart on Saturday evening, and while we go there lots, I NEVER browse cds. They just aren't something I'm typically interested in unless I already have one I want to get (cd's in general that is, I don't like carting them around and would rather just download music). Well, I went straight to the Christian cd's and just kept feeling this prompting to look through them. I browsed around a bit through them, and I saw one that caught my eye, but decided to move on finally and keep shopping. (This was a "killing time" walmart trip, not a grocery run, so I had time to be lax.) However, after walking around walmart abit more, I found myself back at the cd's. I finally decided that if I was going to keep coming back to this one cd, that I might as well get it. And I am so thankful that I listened to God's voice. I got the newest Mandisa cd (she was on American Idol a few seasons back), and have been listening to it ever since.
I can not even begin to explain how much the music from this cd is ministering to me right now. There is one song on here, the last one, that is from the perspective of someone who is already gone and in Heaven...the chorus is "if you could only see this place, you wouldn't cry for me today". I think I spent most of the drive to work this morning dealing with lingering grief from my grandad passing away 2 years ago. But what was interesting to me, was that God used that to bring up other issues I had not even admitted to myself that cropped up during that time. It was VERY hard to admit to myself that even though I was so grateful to have D during that time as a distraction and to keep me from completely going inside myself, I also resented him quite a bit, because he needed the attention that I wanted to focus on my grandad. I had not realized how much of a weight that had been on me ever since.
So now as one more layer is peeled away from this wall that keeps me from fully embracing who I am, I was able to let that go and give it to God. He's a big God and He can handle it. I'm so thankful for that. Moral of the story: God can speak to you anywhere, even in Walmart. And you gotta love the things that He does for us, even during rush hour traffic...lol
wow...that has me tearing up Brandie. big hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteAs hard as it is to peel away the layers of hurt, it is amazing what you discover and can allow the healing to begin. thank you for sharing